Update

I really have zero desire to blog. I have zero joy in my life right now and am dealing with way too much to focus on anything. BUT I feel obligated to at least share the basic updates in regards to my health and fitness. It is, after all, why this blog exists. (although I highly suspect that is not why most of you read it - I think you just like the free stories about Zumba and Batty and Bones. ;-)  )

Anyway, went to the doctor this week. Those pesky 2 pounds that I gained last week are gone, but that isn't all - I LOST 8.5 pounds this week. Now, I know technically I only lost 6.5 since 2 of those pounds weren't supposed to be there, but moral of the story, I lost them. I worked my ASS off last week. I exercised every day like a nut, I ate perfectly, wrote down every bite that went into my mouth, and decided I'm worth it.

Soooo, as of right now my current status is: I have lost 19 lbs, 25 inches (right?!?!), and my BMI has went down by 3 points. I am wearing a pair of pants today that haven't fit in a very, very long time.

I would love to be overjoyed and excited by this, but alas. Not today. Still breaking from Facebook and.....well, life. I'll try to update next week.

Peace. Love.
Micha

Batty & Bones

Whew! Never, EVER, start back with keeping up a regular blog if you choose to do any of the following things: 1. Quit your job         2. Start a brand new job    3. Travel to Ohio and back and the airport twice all in five days time or   4. Quit your job. (that one was important, so I felt compelled to list it twice).  As I’m sure most of you now know, I have taken a new position as the Education & Outreach Coordinator for Lexington Philharmonic. There are many, many details that go into this particular story, none of which do I have time or energy to post here. Just know that I am HAPPY, excited, and ready to get going!!!

Now, back to Thintervention-type news. I had my weigh-in this week at the doctor. It went terrible, no good, awful. I GAINED 2 lbs!!! I should hang my head in sorrow, but I’m not gonna lie – I’m impressed I didn’t gain 5 lbs. I had a pretty bad week for food, exercise, and general health. For all of the above mentioned reasons. I was traveling, entertaining, some laziness thrown in in between, and some bad food (spaghetti!! And garlic bread!!! Eeep!). I didn’t calculate my meals out as I should have. I only exercised 4 out of 8 days, which by normal standards is really not all that bad. But the 4 times I exercised, only 2 were Zumba. The other two were very, very light impact quick walks so that hardly counts as valid. Add to that I am in the week before my monthly mother nature visit, so the bloating and fatigue have set in full-time. Ugh. Like I said, awful. BUT the nurse and staff were SO helpful and positive. They reiterated that everyone has bad weeks now and then, and that at least I showed up for the weigh-in. They said most people who had weeks like I did would have canceled. And they encouraged me to just re-focus for this week and stay on track. And thus far that is what I have done!

The last four days have been fine. Exercised every single day, sticking to my meal plan. I have sad news though! With taking on this new job, I am losing the greatest (and perhaps ONLY) perk of my current job: NO MORE FREE ZUMBA CLASSES!!!! People, people. It is SO sad. I have the option to join the gym (which I will do), but the Zumba classes will cost additional money. I haven’t decided yet what my plan of action will be here. It is a tragedy, indeed.

On a side bar, since I have no Zumba stories to speak of today (I couldn’t go on Tuesday because of my weigh-in. By all means, go get bitchslapped at the doctor for gaining 2 lbs and skip Zumba, which probably would have made me lose 12….), I shall share with you stories of my foul neighbors. They are the poster-children for white trash America. They live together, but are exes, and she is pregnant with some other dude’s baby. That should bring you up to speed entirely.

So periodically they get into these huge I HATE YOU I LOVE YOU I HATE YOU fighting matches, and it’s basically free entertainment. The girl, I should mention, is CRAY. I mean, batshit cray. I will omit their names, lest they ever learn to read, find this blog, and sue me. So let’s call her Batty. Well, sometimes Batty gets high and/or drunk and that usually starts her arguing with the roomie/ex-boyfriend. Let’s call him Bones, because he is skinny as hell. Batty & Bones it is. Bones kicks Batty out about once a month, but keeps her dog, so she comes back until he lets her move back in. The last time, he sat allllll her stuff out on the porch and I had to climb over it for about a month before she came back. This past weekend, Batty showed up with all her stuff and Bones let her back in. Well, late the other night as Chad was leaving, he opened the door at literally the same exact moment that Batty and Bones decided to unleash their redneck fury on each other. As Chad steps out, I immediately slam my door shut like “Bye Honey!!” and glue myself to my peephole. Chad walks down the stairs, and Batty follows him and says, “Where are you going? Can I have a ride?” bahaha He of course said no, and took off for his car and called me. Batty started telling Bones she was soooo sorry, but she can’t be called crazy anymore (which to be fair, she IS crazy). They yelled for a while, then she left.

Fast forward to yesterday, I come home for my lunch break, and Batty is sitting on the stairs with ALL her stuff surrounding her, crying. I couldn’t even get past her. She sniffed and gave me a weak hello, and I climbed over her and went inside. I am texting Chad this, and I start hearing some weird noise. I return to my peephole, and Batty is trying to break in to Bones’ apartment using a credit card and a nail file. High tech little redneck. She gives up after her dog starts barking and she proceeds to lay down in the fetal position on top of all her stuff. When it was finally time for me to leave, I had to physically step over her to get to my stairs. She sits up and goes, “Oh. I locked myself out.” Um yeah. Sure you did. With everything you own? (which fits neatly into totes).

So stay tuned for the continuing saga of Batty & Bones. They may replace my Zumba stories until I figure out that situation. Moral of the story: I got a job. I have foul neighbors. I will lose 5 lbs this week or things will die. That should do it for now. Until then, I give you: My lunch. It's sideways again. The blog people must not like me.

Glam & Sunshine

Well kids, Zumba: The Sequel turned out to be survivable as well! I am here to tell about it, and that is saying something. I'm quite surprised that after an entire year off, I am able to make it through the class each time. I have been exercising more lately, so I guess I've built up some type of weakling status. Others, however, have not. Let me paint ya a picture:

So I get there last night and immediately take my spot in the last row in the back. I should note that I take my glasses off before the class starts, upon which I immediately gain blurry vision. Now, I'm not one of those people who go blind, but I do have some trouble seeing further away...i.e., the instructor. Anyway, right next to me are two new girls. I know they are new because they are clearly not wearing the correct clothes for this class. One was very punk rock, so we shall call her Glam. Glam had on a very cute, edgy little "workout" outfit that was mostly blacks and grays, along with numerous piercings, her hair was all spiked up and she was ready. Next to her was a woman whom we shall call Sunshine. She was wearing all tie-dye (it was purple tie-dye, so I give her points for wearing my favorite color, despite the fact that it is indeed 2012, not 1987) and spandex pants.

So we start dancing, and it becomes no secret that Glam has no rhythym. Now, I am NOT judging. This class is full of all kinds of levels, and I certainly am not at the top of the food chain. But Glam was just not having it. She kind of waved her arms like spaghetti and then periodically rocked out to a tune I can only assume she could only hear in her own head. After song 3 we were given a water break, and Glam peaced out. Grabbed her keys, kind of gave us all a Godspeed look, and walked out.

So then that put me right next to Sunshine. Well, Sunshine was all kinds of in her own world. And I don't know what came over me, but I started to laugh. I just couldn't help it. She was totally spaced out in a field of flowers and daisies and had NO concept or idea that she was in Zumba. I almost ran into her like 17 times because she was over there like singing the Carpenters' greatest hits or something. Well, after about 6 or 7, Sunshine stopped mid-dance and walked over to the bench on the wall and just sat down. She smiled at us all and pulled out her cell phone and just started doing who knows what. Meanwhile, I am STILL laughing. I couldn't stop. I probably burned extra calories because of it. Secretly, I think I was jealous that Sunshine got to sit on a bench with Bob Ross while I was on the floor coaching my inner-Beyonce.

Anyway, Sunshine eventually left and I regained control. JUST in time for a guest leader to come on stage and help lead a song with our instructor. This girl was the poster child for "Baby Got Back". I kid you not, I was mesmerized. I don't even remember what SONG we did. All I remember is that ass. I literally could not watch anything else. I told my boyfriend this story last night, and I still don't quite know what it says about me. lol

Overall, had a blast at class. Danced to some J-Lo, Beyonce and Jay-Z, Pitbull. I did have one brief fleeting thought though - I wonder if someone else is taking this class and ALSO keeping a blog to track their journey? They could be coming home every night and writing endless stories about this girl in the UK Wildcats t-shirt who laughed every time she turned around, faced the wrong way, and stared at someone's ass for 4 minutes straight. Food for thought I suppose.

Anyway, before I go let me leave you with a few pictures. Enjoy. I have ZERO idea why they are all sideways. The files are not sideways originally, all the pictures look correct on my computer. Whatevs. Turn your head.

Grilled veggies and Boiled Eggs = YUMMY lunch!!

Right after said Zumba class. I actually find it fitting that this one is sideways.

My fridge - All water, all the time.

New iPhone case - completely irrelevant to weight loss. Fully relevant to my sanity.

Roasted asparagus and (mostly) egg whites. I give this a 6/10. The asparagus was chewy as hell.

Back by popular demand...

Well hey kids! So I'm not gonna lie - y'all take this blog seriously. I have received wall posts, status comments, emails, and even a few text messages asking (and some shameless begging) me to start this blog back up again!! It hasn't been updated for one whole year, and yet people still seem to remember it and want to read it. So why deprive my adoring public? And by public I mean the like 25 people who read it. But still. I have people.

I'm gonna dive right in before I catch you up on my life. Last night I went back to Zumba, also for the first time in a year. And may I just say, it did NOT disappoint. I was actually scared to go - not just a little nervous or somewhat worried. No, SCARED. Like, in a dark forest surrounded by spiders scared. I was convinced I was going to bust my ass or be forced to stand next to badonka donk girl again. But I made myself go.

Immediately, before the class even began, the free entertainment began. There was this couple standing in front of me, a guy and a girl probably in their mid-20's. You don't see many men in Zumba. Then again, you don't see many men in black cutoff t-shirts and spandex, but who am I to judge. So before the class he is massaging her neck, holding her waist, and then they start full on kissing. Just, you know, chilling in Zumba with 100 rhythmically challenged women, MAKING OUT. I seemed to be the only one appalled by this, so I can only assume they must be regulars and everyone has just de-sensitized themselves to this process. I, however, have not. So I start blatantly staring at them, my mouth open. I figure if you're going to do it, Ima make you feel the shame.

The class starts and homeboy starts dancing like his life depends on it. I kid you not, his hips make Shakira look Amish. Every move we did he put his own flair on and added spins and dips and extra feet and arm movements. I, meanwhile, am behind them wheezing but managing to actually keep up. We did a lot of the same songs as last year and my body remembered probably 75% of the moves. Well, every 3-4 songs we get a quick water break. On the first break, what do they do? Kiss. Big, sweaty, hot mess kissing. In ZUMBA?!?! I'm sorry, am I ON the set of Young and the Restless? No. He massages her neck, they kiss, we dance. Next break - he massages her neck, they kiss, we dance. Then, the icing on the damn cake - we are dancing and MID-DANCE he leans over and kisses her.

Now, I am all about a happy couple. I really am. I love my boyfriend with ALL my heart and I love kissing him and being all honey-mooney and obnoxious.....AT HOME. So picture me, in all my glory, standing behind them. I am fat. I am sweating. I have rosy red cheeks. I am wheezing. I am not pretty at this point. And I can't. Not. Look. It was like a Zumba Lifetime movie.

Now, all that aside Zumba was actually a lot of fun and I survived. The only number that I had trouble with was some song where our instructor yelled, "PART THE ROOM!" So I, outloud, say, "Like Moses?" and the next thing I know the room has divided in two and we are all facing each other from our respective halves. Well, because I was right in the middle of the class to start with, I end up being in the front row on my new side. This dance starts and the object is to mirror the other half of the class. Well, thats all well and good when you know the dance and have your wits about you. I, however, did not. So we start walking and turning and spinning and every single time we walked, I went the wrong way and ended up facing about 50 women (and salsa dude) facing me. Then I would spin and be face to face with the other 50 women (and no salsa dude) facing me. I was a hot. damn. mess. I never did catch on. At one point, during a fancy footwork moment I finally gave up and started marching to the beat and waving my arms like a hoodlum on holiday.

Okay, now that my Zumba stories are out of the way (don't fret. I go back tomorrow.) I will explain a tiny bit about where I am right now. As we all well know, Thintervention went fantastic last year, and then I quit. I went back to my normal anti-healthy little lifestyle, and of the 35 pounds I had managed to lose, I gained about 15 back and was probably on my way to gaining it all back. Well, for the last 6-8 months I have been having some mystery health problems that have landed me in the ER/Urgent Treatment/Doctor's office multiple times, and they can never solve the mystery. I ended up having a cat scan done in late-Spring/early Summer and things were found. Not good things, and basically was told that in about 10 years I am looking at lovely things like organ transplants, death - you know. Sunshine and rainbows. I was told I HAD to get on a doctor supervised weight loss plan and do something. Well, after exploring many, many, MANY options of the best route to take with all of this I finally settled on entering a program, doctor supervised, through a medical weight loss center. NO surgery, which I had considered briefly but ultimately decided was not for me personally. I meet weekly with doctors, nurses, nutritionists/dieticians, counselors, etc. I eat what they tell me to eat when they tell me to eat it based on everything in my body makeup. They hooked me up to a machine and measure every single aspect of my body - weight, metabolic rate, BMI, muscle mass, lean fat, bad fat, etc etc. Then they did blood work and measured my cholesterol levels, sugar levels, thyroid function, liver function - the works. Based on everything they set me up in a program that is 26 weeks long (I am in week 3 now), the first 12 of which are VERY strict. I exercise every day, I fill out a food journal, I go there every week and get checked on. It is super hard, but super awesome at the same time. I have so many people helping, and the knowledge of the doctors and nurses walking me through it all is amazing. I have lost 13 pounds so far, which equates to 52 pounds of pressure off my joints, and I already am feeling better. I am back at the weight I was after I lost all my weight on Thintervention, so now I am just getting back in the swing of things. And I don't have the choice to quit. It is very sobering to sit down and see things about your body that basically tell you the ways you will die in 10 years because of various diseases.

Okay, enough of that. But I felt I should at least fill y'all in since you're dedicated enough to read this business. I will Zumba tomorrow and make it my mission to find the most interesting thing in the room and report it immediately. Or perhaps I will just take Chad with me and sit in the middle and make out whilst we salsa. Tomato, tomahto.

Peace, love, and Zumba,
Micha