Batty & Bones

Whew! Never, EVER, start back with keeping up a regular blog if you choose to do any of the following things: 1. Quit your job         2. Start a brand new job    3. Travel to Ohio and back and the airport twice all in five days time or   4. Quit your job. (that one was important, so I felt compelled to list it twice).  As I’m sure most of you now know, I have taken a new position as the Education & Outreach Coordinator for Lexington Philharmonic. There are many, many details that go into this particular story, none of which do I have time or energy to post here. Just know that I am HAPPY, excited, and ready to get going!!!

Now, back to Thintervention-type news. I had my weigh-in this week at the doctor. It went terrible, no good, awful. I GAINED 2 lbs!!! I should hang my head in sorrow, but I’m not gonna lie – I’m impressed I didn’t gain 5 lbs. I had a pretty bad week for food, exercise, and general health. For all of the above mentioned reasons. I was traveling, entertaining, some laziness thrown in in between, and some bad food (spaghetti!! And garlic bread!!! Eeep!). I didn’t calculate my meals out as I should have. I only exercised 4 out of 8 days, which by normal standards is really not all that bad. But the 4 times I exercised, only 2 were Zumba. The other two were very, very light impact quick walks so that hardly counts as valid. Add to that I am in the week before my monthly mother nature visit, so the bloating and fatigue have set in full-time. Ugh. Like I said, awful. BUT the nurse and staff were SO helpful and positive. They reiterated that everyone has bad weeks now and then, and that at least I showed up for the weigh-in. They said most people who had weeks like I did would have canceled. And they encouraged me to just re-focus for this week and stay on track. And thus far that is what I have done!

The last four days have been fine. Exercised every single day, sticking to my meal plan. I have sad news though! With taking on this new job, I am losing the greatest (and perhaps ONLY) perk of my current job: NO MORE FREE ZUMBA CLASSES!!!! People, people. It is SO sad. I have the option to join the gym (which I will do), but the Zumba classes will cost additional money. I haven’t decided yet what my plan of action will be here. It is a tragedy, indeed.

On a side bar, since I have no Zumba stories to speak of today (I couldn’t go on Tuesday because of my weigh-in. By all means, go get bitchslapped at the doctor for gaining 2 lbs and skip Zumba, which probably would have made me lose 12….), I shall share with you stories of my foul neighbors. They are the poster-children for white trash America. They live together, but are exes, and she is pregnant with some other dude’s baby. That should bring you up to speed entirely.

So periodically they get into these huge I HATE YOU I LOVE YOU I HATE YOU fighting matches, and it’s basically free entertainment. The girl, I should mention, is CRAY. I mean, batshit cray. I will omit their names, lest they ever learn to read, find this blog, and sue me. So let’s call her Batty. Well, sometimes Batty gets high and/or drunk and that usually starts her arguing with the roomie/ex-boyfriend. Let’s call him Bones, because he is skinny as hell. Batty & Bones it is. Bones kicks Batty out about once a month, but keeps her dog, so she comes back until he lets her move back in. The last time, he sat allllll her stuff out on the porch and I had to climb over it for about a month before she came back. This past weekend, Batty showed up with all her stuff and Bones let her back in. Well, late the other night as Chad was leaving, he opened the door at literally the same exact moment that Batty and Bones decided to unleash their redneck fury on each other. As Chad steps out, I immediately slam my door shut like “Bye Honey!!” and glue myself to my peephole. Chad walks down the stairs, and Batty follows him and says, “Where are you going? Can I have a ride?” bahaha He of course said no, and took off for his car and called me. Batty started telling Bones she was soooo sorry, but she can’t be called crazy anymore (which to be fair, she IS crazy). They yelled for a while, then she left.

Fast forward to yesterday, I come home for my lunch break, and Batty is sitting on the stairs with ALL her stuff surrounding her, crying. I couldn’t even get past her. She sniffed and gave me a weak hello, and I climbed over her and went inside. I am texting Chad this, and I start hearing some weird noise. I return to my peephole, and Batty is trying to break in to Bones’ apartment using a credit card and a nail file. High tech little redneck. She gives up after her dog starts barking and she proceeds to lay down in the fetal position on top of all her stuff. When it was finally time for me to leave, I had to physically step over her to get to my stairs. She sits up and goes, “Oh. I locked myself out.” Um yeah. Sure you did. With everything you own? (which fits neatly into totes).

So stay tuned for the continuing saga of Batty & Bones. They may replace my Zumba stories until I figure out that situation. Moral of the story: I got a job. I have foul neighbors. I will lose 5 lbs this week or things will die. That should do it for now. Until then, I give you: My lunch. It's sideways again. The blog people must not like me.