Thursday, May 12, 2011

ready...set...VENT.

I can't. I just can't. I haven't posted in almost a week - why? I am surprised I have found time to eat and pee, let alone write a blog entry. :(  There are so many areas that blow chunks right now, ima just make a list. Mmmk?

Okay, first of all: WORK. I am not going into all the details, mostly because to the average person they would be boring, but let me just say this: INSANITY. ABSOLUTE INSANITY. I am technically an assistant to two different people, plus all the people under them, plus all of the random requests that come in on a daily basis from the random people. Now add to that a huge event that happens to be taking place this weekend (our annual youth dinner theater), and you have a Micha that is ready to literally kick and scream and throw a hissy fit. I give you, TODAY'S to-do list - yesterday was so insane I couldn't even write down anything, so who even knows where that went. And see those things tucked in and around the sides? More to-do's. MmmHmm. That's right.



Again, these are the things I remembered to write down. And why is hardly anything highlighted? Because I've been so busy doing all of the things that I didn't have written down to do in the first place. I. Am. On. Over. Load. :(

Now, in related news - I have been so stressed this week I have been having really bad stress -induced headaches. Mind you, not from just work - from all the other glorious things I'm about to share. Work is only the first part. I have basically had one continuous headache for 4 days straight and no matter what I do it won't quit. I want to cry. Literally. PLEEEEAAAASSSSE GO AWAY HEADACHE!! And because of said headache, I now move on to my next failure: Thintervention.

Have I eaten good? No. Have I exercised? Nope. Have I REMOTELY attempted to act like a normal thinterventioning human being? NO. I have eaten crap food all week partially because I have had zero time to cook, and with my headaches and general crappiness I just haven't cared. No excuse - just have not cared. Not even a little bit. That's right. I said it.

The other partial reason for eating crap leads me to my next failure of the week: Money. Or lack thereof. I am beyond broke. There should be a new word for broke actually. I have paid my bills, barely, which is just swell. But remember when I still have more bills to pay that are due like....oh, I don't know NOW? And remember when I have ZERO money to go buy groceries or go buy gas for $50.00 a gallon? So I have like no food in my house except for a few random crap items. And my car is like running on fumes, I kid you not. But quite frankly, I don't have the money to fix either problem and I don't exactly see any money fairies headed my way so that's that. I'll starve and buy a horse. Speaking of animals, my next failure: My Dog.

I am going to be gone for a week, and need a home for her. An inexpensive one at that. And it is BEYOND stressing me out. I am partially to blame because I am so damn paranoid about where she goes and making sure she's well taken care of. And partially she is the problem because her house training leaves something to be desired, so she has accidents. Grrr. I have explored about 23783510 options, and narrowed it down to a few good ones, but I am so broke that I don't know what is going to be my most financially appealing option. I really don't want to spend more on the dog that I do on my vacation. And speaking of vacation, here is my NEXT failure: Bathing Suits.

I bought a bathing suit online (mistake number one), and it arrived yesterday. So when I got home from my 13 hour day, I decided to try it on (mistake numbers two - seventeen). I had somehow disillusioned myself to believe that having lost 25 lbs trying on a bathing suit would be both less painful as well as possible. WRONG. Oh my god. It was the worst, most depressing moment of my life. I swear. Not only did it NOT fit, it actually bitchslapped me. No - really. It did. I put it on, and it was a halter-type neckline, and it actually snapped back and bitchslapped me in the back. I looked like a beached whale. After eating 40 tons of food. On a fat day. I couldn't even get it off quickly because the fit was so damn awful it was like working a puzzle just to get out of the thing. So 25 lbs? Whatevers. I am still as tragic as always when it comes down to the bare bones.

After I tried on said bathing suit/death capsule, I then tried on the next item that had arrived in the mail yesterday: a new bra. If i thought that was going to cheer me up, then I was apparently dillusional - oh wait, that's right - I was. Let's just say, I now know what Madonna would look like as a beached whale wearing cones. Again, I. Am. Tragic.

And to have some all-inclusive other failures of the week: I am fairly certain its almost that time of month and thats just never good. Also, I am supposed to sing in my sister's wedding on Saturday. She just officially told me the song this week, and it is of course a song I have NEVER heard before, did NOT have any music for, and have ZERO time to learn. So to "learn" it, I listened to it in a youtube video so I could hear the chords. I then wrote the words and chords out so I have "music". I played it once on the piano. As of right now, the wedding is exactly 48 hours away and I couldn't even hum you the tune of the song, let alone actually sing it. And there is precisely ZERO amount of time between now and then to learn the song. Work is too insane, I don't have a piano at home, and that is that. So I have no idea what I'm going to do, other than read it aloud as a dramatic reading. Woof.

I'm supposed to have Zumba tonight, which should be swell since I haven't been in a week. So let's recap, shall we? Work = STRESS, I've eaten a bazillion calories this week, haven't exercised since last Thursday, I have no money, I have no food or gas or the ability to purchase either, I have no dog solution, I have no bathing suit and may never try one on again, no bra, am likely getting a near visit from mother nature, and I have to sing a song in 48 hours that I need to go learn now.

I'm sorry, did I start this entry with "This week was great!" ?
Micha

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